We all know the feeling. When being around someone for the first time it takes no time to form an opinion. Once around someone for an extended amount of time, that opinion is inevitable and too often completely clouds our vision of the person in front of us. It’s a familiar concept and a fact of human nature.
Have you ever wondered why we like who we do- and dislike others? The reason just so happens to be more complex than “I just don’t like her,” or, “He’s such a douche.”
The reason is You. People are self-centered creatures, and it’s a fact that we think about our own selves almost constantly. Therefore, it only makes sense that the reason we like and dislike is based upon ourselves.
The short answer is that all people are Mirrors. When people look into the faces of others, they see the most amazing thing that has ever been upon them- they see Themselves. People reflect back on each-other and it is what they see in themselves that has the final say on whether they choose to like someone or not. For instance, “The Douche-Bag-Guy,” is a character that we are all familiar with. He is probably strong, he is decently or extremely good-looking, and he is way too proud of all of it. People don’t hate this person because he is overly confident, they hate this person because he doesn’t appear to care at all about what you think. Basically this person makes us feel like we are somehow not cool enough for his attention -And this bothers us so much because we know we a) worth his attention, and b) probably way smarter and cooler than he actually is.
And just the way he reflects on us, we reflect back on him. Keeping in touch with the way others perceive our behavior is a good way to ensure that we are making positive reflections, if you’re into that sort of thing-aka: making people feel good when they are around you.
The thing to remember is that our own insecurities are what cause us to form opinions about people. Some people run with a lesser crowd because it makes them feel as if they are “better.” Some hate the extremely competent individual because the competent person reflects one’s own incompetence back. Some hate the universally liked person because they themselves do not have the energy or heart to achieve that like-ability.
In closing, it’s good to take a step back when judging others. People are mirrors and we all give and receive reflections. If we consciously acknowledge why we feel the way we feel, it is easier to understand others and ourselves. And with understanding, comes friendship.